Proverbs 31:12

 Proverbs 31:12  "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

As we continue to look at the character qualities of the virtuous woman, we now see that she has an honorable pursuit —her desire towards her husband is “to do him good.” Now the world would take this phrase and pervert it.  But the true intentions are pure. The verse also mentions that she does not “do him evil.” What a contrast!

What does it mean to be good? It means that she has her husband’s happiness in view constantly. She is intent on lavishing every possible good upon her husband. Her pursuit is to love him, to do him good at every opportunity, not for praise or payoff, but simply because she knows that is what God wants her to do.

Where does all this goodness come from? It comes from her servant’s heart. She takes seriously her God-given pursuit to love her husband and she does it heartily as to the Lord and not to men.

Unfortunately, a lot of women in our country have rewritten Proverbs 31:12 to say something like this, “He should be doing ME good, and not evil all the days of his life.” They are more concerned about having their needs than they are about meeting the needs of their husband. I have been caught in this trap before. They have seen what God says in His Word about how the husband is to be the head of the home and the wife is to be the helpmate, and they have decided that God does NOT know what He is talking about. 

I realized that God knew exactly what He was doing when He established marriage the way He did, and if we want to have a marriage that is blessed by God, we need to follow His guidelines.

To be a true helpmate takes the attitude of a servant. That is easy to say, but so hard to do. All of us have that old sin nature which is bent toward selfishness. Therefore, it is only possible to be a good helpmate when first of all you are obedient, then secondly, filled with the Spirit. Then you can truly have a servant’s heart and self won’t get in the way.

Not only is the virtuous woman concerned about doing her husband good, but there is also an absence of evil. The Bible says that “she will do him good and not evil.” What does it mean to do him evil? It could mean many things. It could be doing things that will bring trouble or sorrow or displeasure to his life. It could be doing anything that would cause him not to trust you. It could show up in bitterness, selfishness, resentment, anger, disapproval, or disagreement. 

The virtuous woman stands strong against the temptations to do wrong, and chooses instead to follow after God’s plan to do her husband good, and not evil.

Notice also that this goodness is there “all the days of her life.” This is a life-long pursuit. It doesn’t end when you don’t get your way or you happen to be tired or when your husband does something to make you angry. The virtuous woman takes seriously and literally her marriage vows to do her husband good forever.” She is to be sweet-tempered and constant today, tomorrow, fifty years from now, for all eternity. 

Jezebel stirred up her husband and caused him to do much evil.

Job’s wife told him to curse God and die. 

Michal despised her husband David. 

You need to recognize the ability in your own life to do your husband evil, and set up safeguards in your life to keep you from going down that path.

Good and evil are sharply contrasting things—goodness is desirable and evil is not desirable.

Discontentment and causes your heart to be focused on others or on things instead of on God. Another enemy of goodness is bitterness. When you allow it to take root and grow in your life, the Bible says that many will be defiled. Another enemy of goodness is a stagnant spiritual life. If you are not walking close with the Lord, you will not have a desire to follow His will.

Goodness does not just happen naturally. We need to plan and practice for it.

We can either plan for good or for evil in our life.

If you would like to learn to plan for the good, look for those things that make your husband happy, and do them. Also, watch for the things that irritate him, and avoid them. You will be well on your way to the honorable pursuit of “doing him good.” Then commit to doing it all the days of your life!

In doing good to her husband she is consistent.  She doesn't serve him that which is good one day and that which is evil the next day.  Her husband can count on her to do him good and to be a blessing to him.  He can count on her to do this today, five days from now, one year from now, ten years from now, and all the days of her life.  She is not up and down, hot and cold.  Her godliness is marked with consistency.  A virtuous woman will carry these qualities not only in the home but with others.