Summary of Proverbs 31

Growing up I always had the mentality that Proverbs 31 was qualities that a wife and mother needed to have. Whenever I read that chapter I always thought to myself “Wow, what an amazing woman of God – I’m going to have a LOT to work on to keep up with the standards that she sets”. 

Recently as I was once again reading this chapter from the bible it dawned on me that I need to work on having all of those qualities before I got married –not the day after my wedding. There’s a saying out there about how putting a ring on your finger and getting married does not mean that you will automatically become this amazing wife/husband you thought you would be. If you don’t possess these qualities in your life before marriage, then you won’t have them after you get married either.

Was the Proverbs 31 Woman a “real” woman?  No, not as a biblical, historical character. Rather she is an ideal, a standard to measure by, a role model to follow, a goal to work toward.

Proverbs	Qualities	Application
15 - She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.	Wakes up early and prepares for the day. Self-disciplined.	Get up early. Have my morning time with God. Prepare myself for the day not only physically, but spiritually as well.
16- She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard.	Spends her money wisely.	Create a monthly budget and stick to it. Don’t waste my money.
17 – She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong.	Strengthens herself physically (and spiritually). Stays energetic.	Exercise and eat healthier food (physical strength).  Read the Bible and pray (spiritual strength).
20- She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy	Generous to the needy. Cares for others, not only herself. Unselfish.	Have a servant’s heart. Give my time, energy, and finances to others.
25- Strength and dignity are her clothing, and shesmiles at the future.	Optimistic and confident about her future.	Have a positive attitude :) always!
27 – She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.	Takes care of the home. Isn’t lazy.	Keep my stuff in order. My office, my room, my car….
26 – She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.	Speaks with wisdom and encouragement.	Don’t gossip or waste time talking about useless things. Encourage others with my words.
13- She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight.	Works hard and does it joyfully.	Work hard without complaining.
22- She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.	Takes care of her outside appearance.	Don’t have too many bad hair days
30- Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.	Fears God.	Take care of my heart and my spiritual life. Live in a way that honors God.

A CONTRAST

THE VOLUPTUOUS WOMAN	THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN
Described in the first nine chapters of Proverbs	Described in Proverbs chapter 31
SHE IS LEWD (Proverbs 6:24; 2:17).	SHE IS LOYAL (Proverbs 31:11).
SHE IS A HOME BREAKER (Proverbs 7).	SHE IS A HOMEMAKER (Proverbs 31).
SHE IS EASY TO FIND (Proverbs 7:10-12).	SHE IS HARD TO FIND (a rare gem) (Proverbs 31:10).
SHE IS CHEAP (Proverbs 30:20)	SHE IS PRECIOUS (Proverbs 31:10).
SHE HAS OUTER BEAUTY Surface attraction (Proverbs 6:25).	SHE HAS INNER BEAUTY Heart attraction (Proverbs 31:30; 1 Peter 3:4).
SHE WORKS WITH HER MOUTH (lively lips but no life) (Proverbs 21:9,19; 25:24 etc.).	SHE WORKS WITH HER HANDS (a lovely life producing loving deeds) (Proverbs 31, many verses).
SHE IS RELIGIOUS (Proverbs 7:14).	SHE IS RIGHT WITH GOD (Proverbs 31:30).
SHE IS OUTSIDE THE HOME (Proverbs 7:11-12).	SHE ABIDES IN THE HOME (Proverbs 31:27).
SHE DOES HER HUSBAND NOTHING BUT HARM (Proverbs 2:17).	SHE DOES HER HUSBAND GOOD (Proverbs 31:12).
SHE IS ON THE LOOSE AT NIGHT (Proverbs 7:9,18).	SHE IS RESTING AT NIGHT SO SHE CAN AWAKE EARLY (Proverbs 31:15).
SHE KILLS HER VICTIMS (Proverbs 7:23).	SHE BLESSES HER FAMILY (Proverbs 31:28).
SHE LIVES BY LUST (Proverbs 7:10).	SHE LIVES BY LOVE (Proverbs 31:20).

Today as we see women of all ages following dubious role models, we are refreshed to find a timeless example of virtue, responsibility and good sense.  Here, in this lovely picture of womanhood, is a woman who embodies the qualities which every believing woman should strive for in her personal life and appearance, in her family life, and in her daily duties.
I know the “Proverbs 31 Woman” is a bit intimidating with her perfection sometimes. But possessing the qualities that she has is not impossible and the sooner we get working on them the better our lives will be…

Proverbs 31:30-31

Prov. 31:30-31
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.  

Verse 30 contains a contrast (notice that little word “but”?)  It contrasts the way we behave and look (charm and beauty), with the condition of our hearts toward God.

Charm = favor, grace, charm, elegance, acceptance

The word "favor" is the Hebrew word for "grace."  In this verse the word "grace" is speaking of a woman's outward appearance and form.  It is paralleled with the word "beauty," and both words carry the same idea.

Webster, in his original 1828 dictionary, has numerous definitions for grace, one of which is "beauty, whatever adorns and recommends to favor."  Gesenius defines the Hebrew word to mean "gracefulness, beauty."

Being funny, clever, or charming is something that comes naturally for some people. It can also be learned to some degree. But beauty fades with age.  Popularity is based on other people’s perceptions, which are easily swayed.  Prov. 31:30 tells us these things are vain.

Vain = vapor, breath, empty, transitory, unsatisfactory

Real beauty in the sight of God is not the product of cosmetics but the outshining of the indwelling Christ. 

Beauty, charm, and popularity never last, which is why they are ultimately empty and unsatisfactory. We, however, are eternal beings who crave something of eternal worth.  If we want to have a sense of lasting value in who we are and what we do, we should consider what qualities can withstand the test of time.

Inner beauty comes from a right relationship with the Lord.  True beauty is impossible apart from the fear of the Lord.  When the Lord is enthroned within, His glory will shine without.

But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.  Prov. 31:31b

That word “fears” can mean to be afraid, but in this case, it does not.

Fears = morally reverent, afraid

The fear of the Lord is essential in the cultivation of inner beauty.  If the fear of the Lord is absent, then it is impossible to radiate the beauty of the LORD. 

Fear can be a bad thing; fear can also be a good and healthy response.  If I meet a bear in the woods, I should have a healthy respect for the animal, knowing something of its power and potential ferocity.  This is a healthy fear that could save my life.  We are to fear and respect God in the right way, knowing that He is a loving, caring Heavenly Father who bids us to cast all of our care upon Him and come boldly to His throne of grace to obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.  Fallen Adam feared God in the wrong way and hid from Him  (Gen. 3:10).  The right kind of fear of God causes us to draw near to Him.

The one who fears God believes that God is great and deserves his utmost respect and reverence.  He is afraid to do anything that would displease such an awesome God.  In Genesis 22 Abraham was faced with the seemingly unreasonable command of sacrificing his beloved son Isaac.  In verse 12 God gave this testimony of Abraham:  "for now I know that thou fearest God."     Abraham feared God; that is, he believed that God was so great that to disobey Him was unthinkable!

The God fearing woman will be praised. 

This verse reveals the Proverbs 31 Woman’s true source of motivation for everything she does in verses 11 through 27.  It explains why the heart of her husband trusts in her. It explains why she is willing to rise early and stay up late.  It explains why she isnot afraid, why she smiles at the future, and why her children bless her and her husband praises her.

Everything the Excellent Woman does is for the Lord.  Why?  Because she respects and trusts Him.  She understands that her sense of security and personal worth are not based on anyone else, nor on anything she can do.  They are based solely on who the Lord is and what He can do.  Consequently, she is free to live her life and enjoy her family, without the burden of worry and fear of failure.

A godly and virtuous woman will be rewarded.  What she gives out she will get back.  

It is the boomerang effect:  she hurls out many a good deed, and they are all going to come back to her. In devotion to her God and in love for her household, she is willing to expend herself ("to spend and be spent").  As she steadfastly labors and abounds in the work of the Lord, she knows that her labor will not be in vain (1 Cor. 15:58).  

God is a very generous Rewarder of those who diligently seek Him (Heb. 11:6), "knowing that whatever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord" (Eph. 6:8).  

The Lord who knows all our works will faithfully reward all that is done in His Name and for His glory.  It pays to live in a right manner.  It pays to fear the Lord.

What motivates you?  Is it what others might think?  What others might say?

One day each one of us will receive the fruit of our hands.

Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.  For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.  2 Cor. 5:9-10

So today may Christian women adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour by their good works (compare Titus 2:10).  God's special people should be "zealous of good works (fervently seeking to please God in all we do)" (Tit. 2:14).  May our light shine before men, that they may see our good works, and glorify our Father who is in heaven (Matt. 5:16).

As Christians this is not a judgment for sin, but a receiving of the fruit of how we lived our lives.  It is something that each and every Believer will be required to do.

When eternity comes, what will you have to show for your life?  Will you be known to have been like the Proverbs 31 Woman?

Proverbs 31:26-29

 Prov. 31:26
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

This is the only verse in this passage which speaks of the godly woman's tongue and the words of her mouth.  Our Lord taught that "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34).  What comes out of the mouth is an indication of what is in the heart.  Our speech reveals our heart.  Out of a wise heart come wise words.  Out of a kind heart come kind words.  Out of a loving heart come loving words. 

Be careful when you speak because your heart is showing.

The Proverbs 31 Woman could use her position to promote herself, but she doesn’t.  She uses it to promote something else. 

Wisdom = skillful (in war), shrewdness, wisely, wit, prudence, wisdom (in administration, religion, or ethics).

The book of Proverbs has much to say on the subject of wisdom.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.  Prov. 9:10

The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom ….. Prov. 10:32a

When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom.  Prov. 11:2

On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found….. Prov. 10:13a

We see that what a woman says, reveals much about her character.  The Excellent Woman fears the Lord, is righteous, discerning, and humble. 

Teaching = a precept, law, instruction, custom, or statute

Not only is the Proverbs 31 Woman wise, but she imparts that wisdom to others.

The lips of the wise spread knowledge …. Prov. 15:7a

The fear of the Lord is the instruction for wisdom
And before honor comes humility.  Prov. 15:33

Older women likewise are to be …. teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women … that the word of God may not be dishonored. Titus 2:3-5

Kindness = goodness, kindness, faithfulness, mercy

We studied the word “kind” when we looked at Titus 2:5.  There, we learned how influential kindness can be. 

Tongue = tongue.  Used both literally, as the instrument of speech; and figuratively for speech, language, speaker

There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword,
But the tongue of the wise brings healing.  Prov. 12:18

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Eph. 4:29

Who controls the tongue?  We do.  And we have a choice not only in what we say, but in how we say it.  The Proverbs 31 Woman exercises self control with what she says.

The Excellent Woman does not engage in gossip, complaining, or self promotion. Rather, she honors the Lord with the words of her mouth.

Prov. 31:27-29
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.” 

We see two things here: what the Excellent Woman does, and what her family has to say about it.

What does she do?

Looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness. Prov. 31:27

This definition points to something we learned from studying Titus 2:5; that a woman’s domestic work is not being a mere housekeeper, but rather being a manager and guardian of one’s household.

Idleness = indolence, idleness, sluggishness, laziness 

We already know this to be true.  We can look back over the verses we have been studying, and make a list of the action words which describe her.  She:
Does – verse 12
Looks – verse13
Works – verse13
Brings – verse14
Rises – verse 15
Gives – verse 15
Considers – verse16
Buys – verse 16
Plants – verse 16
Girds – verse 17
Makes – verses 17, 24
Senses – verse 18
Stretches – verses 19, 20
Grasps – verse 19
Extends – verse 20
Makes – verse 22
Sells – verse 22
Supplies – verse 22
Smiles – verse 25
Opens – verse 26
Teaches – verse 26
Looks – verse 27

What does her family have to say about it?

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.” Prov. 31:28-29

The Proverbs 31 Woman’s deeds and words have an impact on her family.  She has been diligent in her ministry to them, and the results are blessings and praise.

To apply these verses, we have to ask the question, “what does my family say about me?” Do they praise me behind my back or complain about me?  Do they see me as diligent, hard-working, and responsive to their needs?  Or do I leave a lot undone, always making excuses for it?

As one whose children are now older, I can heartily attest that the effort toward family and home is well worth it.  The tendency is to grow weary with the responsibilities, so we need to keep in mind that it is only for a season.  The physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual investment we make in our families today, will reap an eternal fruit.

Proverbs 31:24-25

Proverbs 31:24

She maketh fine linen and selleth it,  and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

One thing this verse does is to settle the argument as to whether or not it is biblical for women to work.  We knew from verse 16, that the Proverbs 31 Woman had her own earnings and invested them.  Now verse 24 gives us a better idea of how she got her earnings.

From verse 13, we learned that the Excellent Wife enjoyed working with fibers and textiles.  From verse 19, we also learned that linen (which she makes garments from) is made from one of the fibers mentioned, the flax plant.  Now we learn that she earns her money through these same pursuits, by making garments of linen and belts which she sells through local merchants.

We’ve also known from verse 18 that she knew how to handle her finances wisely.  It would seem that all of these things together put the Proverbs 31 Woman into the mythical “Superwoman” status of having it all, with success in both family and career.  So how does she do it?

Firstly, she knows her priorities and organizes her day accordingly.

There would be no blessings and praises if she neglected her family and their needs.  We also know that her business is not a point of contention between her and her husband.  Rather, she has his respect and trust.

The other key to her success I think, is that she has a home business.  Why is that important?  Because for one thing, it is one of the most time efficient jobs one can have. 

If she based her business elsewhere, she would have overhead, childcare, transportation, and other costs which she doesn’t have by working out of her home.

Most importantly, her home business makes her available for the management andguardianship of her home, as well as for the needs of her family. 

Combine these two factors with a willingness to work hard, and we see the keys to the Proverbs 31 Woman’s success. 

 Prov. 31:25
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future. 

Even though the Proverbs 31 Woman dresses well and takes care of her appearance (see verse 22), we learn here that the important things about her appearance are inner qualities.

Strength = boldness, loud, might, power, strength, strong.

We studied this word previously, in Prov. 31:17, where we learned that it also implies strength of character.

Dignity = magnificence, that is, ornament or splendor: beauty, comeliness, excellency, glorious, glory, goodly, honor, majesty

When we studied Titus 2:3-5, we took a close look at theh word “dignity“.  We learned that in the Greek, “dignity” is a quality which inspires reverence and awe  It refers to a self-respect, not to stoically never cracking a smile.  From the Hebrew word above, we get a much broader sense of how that applies to the Proverbs 31 Woman.

Clothing = clothing, garment, apparel, raiment

We took a look at this word also, when we studied Prov. 31:22.  At that time we learned that the word  “clothing” can be symbolic as well as literal.

But can a person have dignity and strength and be gentle and quiet?  Absolutely.  How is that?  Because true self confidence doesn’t need to prove itself to anyone.  It’s not what comes out of a woman’s mouth that commends her, it’s her attitude.

Even though we know that the Proverbs 31 Woman dresses expensively, we see that biblically, it’s not what’s on the outside that makes her excellent, it’s what’s on the inside.  The Excellent Woman wears her self confidence and self respect like a suit of clothes.  They are obvious to everyone who sees her.

An extension of her self confidence. She has been faithful to work hard and the reward of this is freedom from worry and fear about the future.

It is the privilege of every believer in Christ to confidently laugh at the future.  We have been guaranteed a bright, eternal future.  We have been guaranteed eternal security (John 6:37-40; 10:27-30).  We have the sure promise of God that the future ("things to come") cannot separate us from the love of God (Rom. 8:38).  In fact, in 1 Corinthians 3:22 we learn that we possess the future!  It is ours!  The future belongs to us.  God has marked out a glorious future for every child of God, that we should be conformed to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29).

How confident we can be!  We do not know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future.  We know that everything that happens to us in the future is for God's glory and for our good (Romans 8:28).  We are fully persuaded that the God who began a good work in us will complete that good work in the future (Philippians 1:6).

Proverbs 31:23

  Prov. 31:23

Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

Even though we have focused almost exclusively on the Proverbs 31 Woman in this series, we do get a glimpse of her husband as well. In verses 11 and 12, we

saw something about their relationship:

~ He trusts her

~ He is able to focus on providing for the family rather than domestic problems

~ She treats him very well

In verse 23, we get to know a little about what he does.

To get a clearer understanding, let’s take a look at a couple of words in this verse.

Known – yada` = recognized, acknowledged

Gates – sha‛ar = gate, entrance, space inside a gate, marketplace, court, public meeting place

Sits – yâshab = properly to sit down, specifically as judge, in ambush, or in quiet; remains, stays

Elders – zâqên = aged, elders, senators, those having authority

In putting all this together, it seems likely that the Proverbs 31 Woman’s husband is in a position of authority as a judge.

It was once a common saying that behind every good man is a good woman. 

That concept has pretty much been thrown out the window in a day and age when women are focusing on their own careers and it takes more income.

I can understand this in part, because our world sees earning money as more important than raising children, or governing a household without pay.  Yet this is worldly thinking, which ignores a very important biblical fact: that husband and wife are one flesh.  

Between the two of them, they govern their life together.  Each spouse is free to attend to his or her own areas of authority and responsibility, confident that the other is doing the same.

There are many facets in life.  In marriage, we see that the Excellent Woman’s priority is the home; her husband’s is the community.  They are successful and prosperous because of the mutual respect and trust they have for one another.  Neither one tries to be a whole unto themselves.  

It is as one flesh that they are individually strongest.  United, they have a powerful impact upon society, though in different ways.

For Christian women, Prov. 31:10-31 lays out a goal to aspire to. 

For men, it lays out 1) what to look for in a wife, and 2) what kind of woman he needs to encourage his wife to be.  It also gives him an idea of how they should function as a couple: his wife is not to rule over, his wife is to rule with.  

A biblical marriage means being two unique and individual parts of a whole. The whole is a life and ministry together.